Egging the Apartment
by Totally-Out-Of-It
Summary: Derek and Stiles have an argument after a fight with an omega and Stiles decides the only way to get revenge is to egg the apartment. Sterek


**Egging the Apartment**

_Derek and Stiles have an argument after a fight with an omega and Stiles decides the only way to get revenge is to egg the apartment. Sterek_

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"Asshole!"

Stiles stomped from Derek's apartment, all the way down to his car, and slammed the door shut. His arm stung where Allison had bandaged it. The wound itself was inflicted by a rabid omega that had been running around the woods. In fact, the argument he'd just stormed out of was also caused by that omega.

"Stupid jerk," the human grumbled under his breath as he started the car and pulled away from the building. "What does he think I am? An accessory? Some pair of sneakers you wear to accent your bitchin outfit but no one actually notices you're wearing? I am not the pack's nada-Prada handbag!"

The pack had run to stop the omega after it attacked a hiker in the woods, wanting to deal with it on their own instead of letting the Argents or some other hunters catch it. Derek had ordered Stiles to stay back, but of course he didn't listen. Allison got to go along, so why not him?

"And of course you don't even acknowledge the fact that I saved your life," Stiles continued to mutter while he drove, gripping the steering wheel too hard and making his arm twinge in pain. "Stupid jerk. Someone outta light your precious leather jacket on fire. While it's still on your body. Asshole."

Just then, he saw the supermarket coming up on his right. An idea jumped into his mind and Stiles quickly veered his jeep off the road and into the parking lot. It would be a juvenile revenge, but at least no one would think Stiles was _that_ pathetic so they would never pin it on him.

Almost before he knew it, he was standing in front of the dairy section, carton upon carton of eggs before him. Medium, large, extra large, jumbo, thousands of eggs of all sizes.

"I'll egg his whole damn apartment," Stiles mumbled angrily as he opened the cartons to check the eggs for cracks. Not that cracks really mattered when you were going to throw them at someone's abode, but...well he could use whatever he didn't throw to make an omelet for his dad or something. Yeah.

He could just imagine Derek's face when he saw the eggs running down the windows, coating the glass in goopy, sticky yolks and whites. He'd wash it himself of course, because he would probably think it was somehow his fault. And well, it would be, because he was being a stupid jerk and he deserved it. But he wouldn't even tell Isaac or Scott about it. He would just clean it up himself, even the high up places where he couldn't quite reach, making sure there was no trace left of any possible threat against the pack.

"No," Stiles told himself. "I am not empathizing with him. I am not relating to him. I am going to egg his apartment and that's that. Because he deserves it."

He opened one last carton, checking for cracks again. The eggs inside were perfect, with pure white shells and all even facing the same direction. He picked up the carton and began making his way back toward the front of the store.

As he was saying, Derek wasn't going to know what hit him. He may have yelled at Stiles for running into danger, but he would regret it. He would regret complaining about Stiles getting hurt. After all, his anger was completely unfounded. If Stiles hadn't come along, Isaac would have never turned around in time to stop the omega from stabbing him through the stomach. If Stiles hadn't pushed Derek out of the way, the cut on Stiles arm would've been a gash in Derek's heart.

And Derek was too important to have him die like that. To an omega of all things. But he'd been too busy checking on Isaac and keeping an ear out for Scott and Allison as they distracted the hunters that had inevitably shown up. He'd been too caught up caring about his pack to watch out for the actual enemy right in front of him.

Why did Derek have such a good heart underneath all that sour wolf shell of his?!

No. Stiles was going to egg his apartment, and there was no stopping him. So Derek needed to really be the asshole Stiles kept trying to _think_ of him as instead of the nice, protective, decent guy Stiles actually _saw_ him as. Him being nice made Stiles feel guilty about his revenge, and that just wasn't right! Derek deserved to get egged!

Stiles grumbled all the way through paying for his eggs, even as the cashier lifted a curious eyebrow at his purchases. He grumbled all the way to his Jeep, and all the way back to Derek's. Even though it had only been about half an hour, everyone else's cars were gone except for Derek's outside of the apartment. Stiles used one hand to turn off the Jeep and the other to grab his weapons. He kicked the door closed, pissed off at Derek but also pissed off at himself.

He was mad at Derek for being so stupid, for yelling at Stiles when Stiles had just finished helping him out, for being so handsome, for having muscles that made Stiles weak in the knees and an intense gaze that turned Stiles' heart into a raging swarm of butterflies and not realizing he was doing it. God, when had his fear turned into a crush? And if Derek had such amazing werewolf senses, then how come he hadn't noticed how Stiles felt yet? He was so stupid!

Derek and Stiles had actually been getting along rather well recently, since the whole Alpha Pack fiasco. If Stiles came up with a plan, Derek actually considered it, and usually went along with it. Derek didn't mind Stiles hanging out at his apartment most afternoons, whenever Scott was busy with Allison or Isaac or his mom or something. Derek kept Peter out of Stiles' hair and chewed him out when Peter was being particularly creepy around their resident human. They had been watching movies together on Derek's crap television set pretty often lately, eating bad take out when Stiles allowed it and veggie burgers when he didn't. Heck, Derek had even had a conversation with Stiles' dad that didn't involve his dad's handcuffs or gun or even his glare just last week!

Maybe that was why Derek being such a dick about this last incident hurt so much. Because he and Derek had been getting closer and Stiles had really been feeling like 'pack' and then...this? What was this bull crap? This was why Derek deserved to have his apartment egged. He really really deserved it.

He did, dammit.

The door to Derek's apartment loomed two feet in front of him now. Stiles hesitated, swallowing with difficulty. Then he steeled his resolve, took one step forward, bent down, and set the egg on the mat in front of the door. It wasn't an actual egg; not with a yolk or shell. It was a solid chocolate egg just smaller than Stiles' fist - because let's all admit it, solid chocolate eggs are annoying as hell to eat. Hollow chocolate is a hundred times better.

And that's what Derek gets for being a dick and yelling at Stiles.

He gets egged.

With an annoying-to-eat chocolate egg.

Because Stiles wasn't actually mad at his alpha.

He actually sort of liked his alpha.

A lot.

And maybe he was a teeny tiny bit justified in getting upset at Stiles getting hurt. Maybe.

Stiles quickly slid a note card from his pocket, one word written on it, and slipped it under the egg. He knocked on the sliding door to the apartment fast and loud and then booked it back to the stairwell and his Jeep. Because he had actual eggs in the car, after all, and he needed to get them home.

And he really didn't want to be around when Derek saw the stupid egg.

The rush of air from his quick escape made the paper flutter, as did the sliding door opening less than a minute later.

_'Asshole.'_

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Based on this post from tumblr: before 'tumblr' put _jessicamdawn_ and after the com put _post/57461703961/itsmoreorangeythanlime-i-am-so-ma d-at-you-that_


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